This is Why I'm Single

random dating site emails i have gotten:

Posted on: June 10, 2012

Jun 10, 2012 – 1:33am
hello, i am not a bad guy thats is after sex or the mexican thing, i just wanna

Jun 10, 2012 – 1:39am
What Mexican thing?

Jun 10, 2012 – 1:59am
I mean those silly things, like just looking after one night stand.


I still don’t understand what the Mexican thing has to to do with anything. Is he implying that all Mexicans are just after one night stands? He looks like he could be Hispanic or bi-racial. I haven’t decided to respond.

Jun 4, 2012 – 1:33pm
hello how are u doing ? you’re so pretty , i’ll be happy to get know ,do you’ve email yahoo ? waiting ur message if u interesting ,kiss and hugs

He’s from Morocco, and this is his second attempt to contact me. He’s persistent.

May 29, 2012 – 2:04am
Enamored, elated, and excited that’s all the e words I have at the moment but all describe my thoughts while I read your profile. You are a whimsical journey only a Monty Python skit would dare capture. I have not read a funnier, nonsensically random profile since I began this journey. I hope my message is only slightly creepier than what I think it is. I think they are all creepy, to be perfectly honest with you, no matter how intellectually honest they are meant to be. Well, be still my beating heart, and all that stuff. Cause you have really made me laugh. On a serious note, not liking grits is indeed scandalous. Sweet tea can be too sweet, however l, you better enjoy BBQ! If not I will take your southern girl card away. Have fun silently checking my grammar. I hope it’s not too bad. Be warned though I’m almost fluent in German and can speak a few Russian words and will attempt to learn Hindi in the near future. I work in IT so it behooves me to do so.

I’m not sure why he could only use E words, but he deleted his profile before I could ask him. Also, why does he want his message to be creepy?


May 21, 2012 – 11:25am

Hi how are you doing? For now you can call me Money and I must tell you that you look amazing. I do have a girlfriend but if it’s any woman in the world that can change my relationship status then I have to trust and believe it would be you. I don’t know your situation and you don’t know mine and we can keep it like that for now but if you ever have a change of heart be sure to write congress and shoot me an email as well…lol because you are gorgeous! I know I shouldn’t have gotten on this thing…lol but anyways I’m just on here looking for a cool female to kick it with whenever I can get free and that’s usally on the weekends. I got my own everything so I won’t be asking you for yours. All I want from you is a nice genuine friendship and what ever happen from there will be your fault…lol nah but seriously I know you at least would like to see who you are talking to but don’t worry about that for now, lets just keep it spontaneous but If you insist on seeing a pic of me and this conversation can’t continue until that happens then if you can send me your email I’ll send a couples pics to you now. So what’s up, if you ain’t scared to rock the boat with me then holla back or forever hold your peace. Peace!!

One of my most favorites. It is either a ‘bot or someone very unoriginal because one of my friends got the exact same one. I AM scared to rock his boat.


6/9/2012 11:55:55 PM
Free tonight?

Free for what? Checkers? IHOP? A Hot Pocket?
OK, I included this dude’s “handle” because what the fuck? He sold his girlfriend on Plenty of Fish? That is supposed to lure me in? And am I free for what? No response yet. NO WHERE on my profile does it say I am interested in hooking up and fucking some random dude because he asks. I’m a bitch. He better get his shit together.


5 Responses to "random dating site emails i have gotten:"

The best one is te Money dude lol. Wow just wow it’s like a bad digital bar

The money one is the best. Just wow it’s like a bad digital bar

I used to do the internet dating thing. I could never figure out how to say something to someone I hadn’t met without sounding like a tard or a creep or like I was just cutting and pasting some form letter. I’m not sure I’ve still figured that one out.

I don’t have any trouble thinking of what to say to normal people. However, I think most men are on those sites just to get laid.

Madame, are you suggesting men do things just to get laid? This is outrageous slander against my gender!

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The Grit

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